i wish i knew you more.
be at peace where ever you are, chacha ji .
we have everything covered here. dont worry.
my eldest chachaji passed away last week.
¶ 11:32 AM 
one tiny blast from the past .
i wrote this post on my first blog , i had just started blogging : the date was 24th feb 2003.
it has been two years since and this city still manages to amaze and surprise me all the time.
and i have gotten to love the city now , with all its madness and inadequacies.
but the following was the emotion i was going through , my genuine bewilderment with the city and the people. read on -
*******
this makes me think…mumbai…
my one year in mumbai is about to complete…as the rule book ;) on relationship says its time to reflect …hence judge …decide…so here goes…
first somebody.. anybody…tell me as to why this city is called land of dreams.. when there are more dreams unrealized here than otherwise…this may sound a little clichéd ( oh almost all movies have this ) but you have to experience it to really believe it …it is so unsettling.. people speak of something immense happening the very next day…everyday…till they die..
i am not dramatizing pls.. as i said earlier you have to live it to believe it…i have never felt so insecure in my life as I did during the first few weeks here…its fantastic at times…
And ladies and gentlemen lets hear it for the people related to this film / tv industry.. they top the chart of dreamers…they win hands down.. they outclass one and all….these wanna be actors, astt directors, music directors, and the what not…
they are horrifyingly, gut wrenchingly positive people.. my life partner, soul mate , my best friend is one of them…as bad if not more ( my influence, thank you )…don’t get me wrong here.. i knew right from the beginning when I fell in love with him… he was special because of his passion…
but people, no one prepared me for this city…these fantasists…
they scare me.. …they who have left their homes, parents, the security.. every thing worth …and they wait for that big, whooping event to happen the next day…
some of them don’t even have enough to make their ends meet.. but they dream and stick around..
some have horrifying tales of struggle to tell…but they bear and dream on…
as passionately…as optimistically..
and most of them do have realistic options.. but no sire !!!!…nothing can beat the arc lights, the cameras.. makeup on their faces…
i fail to understand this stubbornness, this doggedness …i am made of ordinary stuff.. not that I don’t have goals or dreams but they are reachable.. possible.. no unreasonable “dreamer blood” in me…
but i guess, there is something in the water of this incorrigible, persistent city.. of late dreams have started creeping in my eyes too.. i am still scared…slightly dismayed…very grounded…
but now i don’t deny…
this is a city of dreams…mostly impossible ones….and i am a part of it.. whether i like it or not…whether i understand it or not...
*******
¶ 9:58 AM 20 comments
some mother-fluckin a**hole whisked my mobile from my desk on monday. may he rot in hell.
that i have lost all my numbers doesn’t hurt me so much , as much as the loss of the photographs i had in it . the holi snaps most of all .
and i cant shrug the feeling of being violated ( cant think of any better word ) , i mean they were personal photographs . no not the shaheed kareena types ( 4yrs in marriage , you still think ! ) but generally . they were for my eyes only; or the eyes of the ones whom i permitted .
now some jerk is looking at them . the feeling is horrible.
nish cheers me up by saying now i can buy the set i was eyeing for a long time now . *sniff* it is not the same, yaar . it was with me for an year now. what about those saved messages *sniff*
jhoom says that it had to happen . one cant just NOT loose his/ her mobile in their lifetime . good that i lost an old one , it cud have been a brand new one. ya may be. law of averages had to come to play when i hadn’t downloaded chubby’s photograph yet. it sucks !
my colleague says it has never happened in the office ever . i am the first . ok smart ass , gimme a prize then; and stop gloating .hope someone steals urs too.
my boss says grow up .its only a mobile ; that he has lost 11 . so were you the same chilled one when you lost ur first one. i wud be as cool when i lose my 11th too ( tho i hope i dont *ouchwood* )
what else astonishesme is no one in the office seems to bother, that something was stolen from the so called secured environment. it was pinched from my desk for christ’s sake.
i know there are bigger problems on the earth . with other people. people have lost more.
yet dont tell me it is not a big thing. it happens all the time . it happened for the first time with me . and it is a big deal .
******
and on better note –
am going to delhi for a couple of days on monday ; for a training.
will stay with jhoom ; and hope to have some fun in spite of her exams .
so see you when i am back .
take care, people and don’t loose your mobiles. it hurts.
¶ 12:40 PM 22 comments
some 8 yrs back, the boy duly met the girl’s mother. the girl was shooed off , n the chit chat ( or the grilling, as the boy put it) started .they talked about this n that, his family, her family , future, culture etc . here is one particular dialogue –
girl’s mother – well, so how much do you love my daughter ?
boy – how much ? it isn’t aloo gobhi or milk is it ? that i can say 4 kilos or 50 litres ? i love her .period . cant put a number/ value to the emotion.
the boy thought the answer was very cool .the mother thought it was a little filmi. inspite of that she approved.
and then some 4 years later they got married on 4th May 2001 .
well , may be you are still trying to figure out as to how many kilos (or litres ) you love me . i on the other hand have known it all my life.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
happy anniversary , baby .
yeah yeah i know Shania Twain song like last year ( the 5th may 2004 post- here )
wud have been better. this poem is a little soppy for you. next year ,i promise ... beyonce ;)
**i wrote this on monday , but couldn’t post it till now.
¶ 10:05 AM 19 comments
Arhar ki daal with onion , tamoto , garlic ka tadka
Hot boiled Rice
Stuffed Karela
Aloo ki bhurji
Garlic chatni
Cucumber Raita
Papad
( all cooked by someone else )
2 hrs siesta .
life is gOOOOOOd !!
and ya monday , i am ready to face you n the other four . Bring it on !
:D
¶ 5:58 PM 24 comments
